Starting with many piles of clothes

You’ve seen the Netflix show by now. You start tidying in your closet, and the first step is to put all of the clothing that you own in a big pile on your bed and stare at it, open-mouthed, until you declare that you’ll never let this happen again.

And if you’ve read Kondo’s books, you’ll know that the ideal time to tidy is in the morning, when you’re at your most alert and energetic, with crisp, fresh morning air blowing through sheer, white curtains (okay, maybe not exactly, but it’s how I pictured it).

Sounds lovely, and exciting, and makes total sense in a perfect world.

I live in a toddler world.

My tidying journey started around 5pm one day, when everyone in my house was hangry as usual, but I just wanted to get this thing going! And I had gotten home from work a little early, and still had a few precious moments of childcare left.

My 3 year old wanted to know what was going on, and I liked the idea of getting her involved from the start. One of my big motivations for taking this on, even when my kids are so little and time is so limited, is that I want to model different behaviors for them. I want them to learn that less can be more, to appreciate and love the things we do have, and not always be wanting and needing. Just like I think it’ll make me happier, I think it will help them be happier, more satisfied individuals, too.

My husband was insistent about sleeping in a bed that night, so the pile was not going there. And I also have 3 toddlers roaming my room all evening during bedtime, so an entire floor covered in all of my clothes was not a good idea.

Instead, I took it in chunks. Started with tops. My 3 year old loved helping me carry all the hanging shirts from my closet, and pulling out all the folded ones from the drawers. And once we had our big, gigantic pile (of just shirts), she also loved diving on top (and snapping some hangers in the process. No big deal! I won’t need as many when I’m done!).

Now that my first pile was ready, we got the kids to bed on time (miracle!) so I could have a real chance of making some progress before my bedtime. I started with shirts that were clear yes’s, my favorites. I held them, recognized how I feel about them, and moved on. Tackled some easy sections of shirts that I really had no idea why I still had them, thanked them, and placed them in a discard pile. Once you get going, you can really get on a roll. If there was ever a maybe I just set it aside to come back to, so I didn’t lose my momentum.

It took me a couple nights to make it through all the tops. Then I pulled out all the bottoms and started the process again. Then dresses, jackets, pajamas, etc. (and I’ll share the experience of sorting through maternity and nursing clothes in another post). Overall, it took me about 2 weeks to get through everything and I ended up discarding about 16 trash bags worth of clothes (145 tops! 46 pairs of pants!)

I found a charity that supported young moms, that would accept all of my donations. I asked my mom to come with me to drop it off – both for her SUV that could handle all the bags, and for the emotional support of letting it all go.

It was a little overwhelming, I had never let go of so many things at once. Things that held a lot of memories. We live our lives in our clothes and some of those had been in my closet since high school. But it was time, and as we drove back home, I wondered if I’d feel regret. I didn’t (well, a little bit when Covid hit and I saw a video about making face masks with old leggings. Just got rid of those! But, really, I didn’t.).

Now, my clothes are organized. I like and wear everything that I have. Half my drawers are empty, and there’s space between my hangers. The work is worth it.

Some Tidying with Toddlers Tips:

• Get your kids involved from the start. It’s important to let them see what’s going on and understand when and why it’s time to say goodbye to some of our things

• They like to help! Figure out what they can do (like carry some clothes), and make it more fun for everyone.

• Depending on the items, it might still be better to make your decisions without the distraction. Let them help you get everything in one place, but wait to decide what brings you joy when you have a moment to yourself.

• If you’re donating your items, talk about it with your kids! It’s a good opportunity to talk about how we can help others, and how passing along the things we don’t use could really benefit someone else’s lives.

Happy tidying, friends!