Baby Clothes: To save or not to save

Baby clothes = sentimental clothes

If you are a parent, I bet you remember the first time you bought an outfit for your first baby. I held off letting myself buy anything until we had our 20-week ultrasound, where we got the thumbs up that everything looked good, and also found out that we were having a baby girl. My husband and I left our appointment and headed straight to BuyBuyBaby to each pick something out and send a picture to our family to share the good news and big reveal.

Equal parts scared and excited.
It was always teal from the very beginning.

The significance of Mount Onesie

Fast forward 4 years, I had a 3 year old, 1 year old twins, and a LOT of baby clothes. Piles of baby clothes. Boxes of baby clothes. Pant-loads of baby clothes. I could probably fill up a small boat with baby clothes. The 1st year with twins is insane to put it mildly, and I barely had time to keep them in (clean?) clothes let alone deal with the massive amount of clothes that they were growing out of in what felt like record speed. So they piled up in bags, boxes, laundry baskets, whatever I had on hand to contain the onesie-avalanche.

So many baby pajamas

With my 1st, it was straightforward. I organized them by size, put them in vacuum sealed bags to save space, stored them in clear tubs. Just like Pinterest told me to do. Saved them for the day when we’d have another baby and we might need them again.

But let me be honest. Even if I had had unlimited free time, I did NOT want to deal with the clothes after the twins. I stuck them far back in the kids’ closets so I could try to forget they were there and not have to think about it. Because dealing with the kids clothes brought on a much larger, emotional conversation for me.

My husband and I had always talked about having 2-3 kids. When we got the surprise of our lives and heard that we were having twins, we jumped up to 3 kids rather quickly. And so according to our plan, we were now done. Right? Like, it would be crazy to have another one, right? My husband can very confidently say, ‘Yes. Done. Good. Move on.” But I’ve never been quite so quick to make decisions this big, to decide and close the door. And now it felt like one of the biggest decisions of our lives could be determined based on my decision to keep or let go of Mount Onesie.

It doesn’t have to be all or none

Sorting through my clothes was a challenge, but I made it through. It felt like a weight had been lifted (it had, 16 garbage bags full of clothes are heavy). But it was also an emotional weight of holding on to way too much, that I hadn’t even realized I was carrying. My closet and drawers could breathe easier, and so could I.

So when I got to the kids’ closets, I knew if I was serious about tidying up our lives, avoiding this big pile was not an option. This was a big weight on me. Something I knew I was avoiding, dreading. And treating every piece of kids clothes as sentimental and holding off to deal with it at the end was also not great. I looked online for answers or support in how to know if and when to get rid of the baby clothes, and honestly didn’t find much. So, I begrudgingly jumped in, and figured it out.

Sorting through the bags and boxes

What I realized, and what helped me move forward, is that it didn’t have to be so black and white. All or none. I didn’t have to get rid of every item of baby clothes, or keep it all. Declare to the world that I would never, ever have a baby again, or store 15 boxes of baby clothes forever just in case it ever happened. Storing those boxes of baby clothes was not going to bring me or anyone else any joy. Plus, I’m pretty sure they will still be producing and selling clothing for small humans in the future. We could always buy more if we needed it. Holding on to or letting go of these clothes did not need to be so tied to this potential-future-big life decision. This was about a ton of clothes. That none of my kids fit in. That, yes, I am also sentimental about, and those emotions are real, and okay.

Take it one onesie at a time.

It was hard. I asked my husband to sit in the room with me while I sorted through it, because I needed the support. Not to help decide what to keep and discard (he was still on team ‘EVERYTHING MUST GO’), but because I didn’t want to be alone. And if I felt strong emotions about the item, I put it in the keep pile. Maybe it was joy, or maybe I just couldn’t part with it. Either way, it stayed. I didn’t have to have a reason to keep it beyond that. And all the many, many, many, many onesies that were just part of their wardrobe but didn’t have particular memories or significance could go into the discard/donate/sell.

I ended up with one large plastic tub of ‘keeps’. The baby girl dresses that were my favorites, the onesies we used for the monthly pictures, the tiny baby boy suspenders. The ones that brought back clear, happy memories. If I don’t have any more kids, maybe I’ll pass these ones on to my kids when they have kids. Or maybe I won’t feel the need to save these anymore after a couple more years. I’m not sure. But for me, for right now, one big box of favorite memories feels like the right emotional weight to keep, rather than all of it. And I’m relieved to have tackled it, rather than allow it to continue to take up space in the back of my mind and my kids’ closet.

Considering tackling your own Mount Onesie? Here are some steps and tips to help get you started.

Steps to cleaning out baby clothes, for those who do not want to clean out baby clothes:
  • Just like adult clothes, build your big pile, pull out all the clothes, see what you’re dealing with.
  • Hold each item of clothing, and decide if it’s staying or going. These should all be clothes they have grown out of, so the decision is whether to save and store or discard/donate/sell.
  • If it’s staying, keep it with confidence! You don’t need more of a reason than ‘it brings me joy’ or ‘it reminds me of something that makes me feel happy’. Fold it and store it.
  • If it’s going, thank it for your child. It did its job, and now it can be passed on to someone else who can fit in it, who might really need it.
  • If you have the time and the boxes, fold it and organize it by size in prep for donating and/or selling.
Toddle Monster hoarding clothes by placing many pairs of pants on her arms. Some tidying activities are better left to nap times ….
Some Tidying with Toddlers Tips:
  • Since these no longer fit your kids, this is a decision for you. Especially since this can be emotional, find time to sort through them when your kids aren’t around.
  • If you do want to get the kids involved with this category, they can help you make the big pile of clothes (however mine still try to steal the clothes back and figure out ways to wear them, see above).
  • If you’re donating your items, talk about it with your kids! It’s a good opportunity to talk about how we can help others, and how passing along the things we don’t use could really benefit someone else’s lives.

If you’re going through this, big hugs and you can do it. You’ll feel better once you do.

Happy tidying, friends!

Paper done, sort of

How are you doing? Yeah, same.

I started ‘Paper’ back in April, and here we are almost July, and I think I’ve sorted through most of them. Maybe. It’s tough to tell. This house is getting crazy (in many senses of the word) and it’s hard to know if there’s more to uncover.

Our home renovation work got halted in March, so our new hardwood flooring is sitting in dozens of large, heavy boxes taking up much of our living room.

We loved our 1st Nugget so we got a 2nd one, and now have enough triangle pillow to make a ‘treehouse’.

Our family room is looking increasing like a Gymboree location as we continue to search for new ways to keep our 3 tiny people happy and active enough to get out the wiggles and giggles while it’s close to 110 degrees outside (Yay, Arizona summer).

Meet our recent addition, the Jungle Jumparoo, like a safer trampoline.

I’m attempting to implement toy rotation to give a sense of ‘new and exciting’ each week or two, so all the toys I’m taken out of rotation live in large plastic tubs that I have nowhere to store.

Everything feels like it’s simultaneously in-flight and on-pause as we live, struggle, and deal with this absolutely insane world that we are all collectively sick of.

So, I just wanted to check back in. And mention (remind myself) that it’s okay. Okay to take a break. Okay to not be having a great day, week, month. Okay to be sick of all this.

Especially if you’re like me with kids. Little kids. Who demand so much of our time and energy, regardless if we’re running on empty and don’t have much to give. Little people with big smiles and big giggles and big hugs. And that’s the important stuff. The piles of other things can wait.

The important stuff, with quarantine hair.

I finished up a couple of sort of/miscellaneous ‘paper’ things this week that I could think of – gift cards, a stack of toy manuals and kid stuff stuck in my kids’ closets, one last miscellaneous drawer filled with things like scrap paper, post it notes, checkbooks, stamps, and many spare Christmas lights. Felt good to get back to organizing, something I can control, which helps me feel productive, and puts things in an order that makes me feel calmer. And felt good to take it in small chunks, not too much time keeping me up late, just a quick organizing break between all the other things.

My husband is still working through some of his paper stuff (and reminder, everyone goes on their own tidying journey. He’s independently decided to clean out some of his stuff alongside me). We want to go through the dozens and dozens and dozens of manuals I uncovered together to figure out what we still have/need.

And then I’m excited to move on to ‘Komono’, i.e. everything else that isn’t sentimental. And I confess, I’ve sneaked ahead to tackle small things along the way that were sore spots. Kitchen drawers that I was fighting with, kid art supplies that were devolving into chaos. We redid our 4 year-old’s room for her birthday and reorganized our playroom loft while we were at it (maybe future blog post). I consider all of that work ‘pre-tidying’ and totally expect to revisit them when their order # comes up. It’ll just be less to go through again.

Anyway. Hope you’re well and safe. Hope you’re being kind to yourself. Hope you’re taking breaks from the things that don’t serve you. Focusing on the good, even if it’s small. But letting yourself have a not-so grateful day when you need to. And we’ll get through this, one day, one task at a time.

Starting with many piles of clothes

You’ve seen the Netflix show by now. You start tidying in your closet, and the first step is to put all of the clothing that you own in a big pile on your bed and stare at it, open-mouthed, until you declare that you’ll never let this happen again.

And if you’ve read Kondo’s books, you’ll know that the ideal time to tidy is in the morning, when you’re at your most alert and energetic, with crisp, fresh morning air blowing through sheer, white curtains (okay, maybe not exactly, but it’s how I pictured it).

Sounds lovely, and exciting, and makes total sense in a perfect world.

I live in a toddler world.

My tidying journey started around 5pm one day, when everyone in my house was hangry as usual, but I just wanted to get this thing going! And I had gotten home from work a little early, and still had a few precious moments of childcare left.

My 3 year old wanted to know what was going on, and I liked the idea of getting her involved from the start. One of my big motivations for taking this on, even when my kids are so little and time is so limited, is that I want to model different behaviors for them. I want them to learn that less can be more, to appreciate and love the things we do have, and not always be wanting and needing. Just like I think it’ll make me happier, I think it will help them be happier, more satisfied individuals, too.

My husband was insistent about sleeping in a bed that night, so the pile was not going there. And I also have 3 toddlers roaming my room all evening during bedtime, so an entire floor covered in all of my clothes was not a good idea.

Instead, I took it in chunks. Started with tops. My 3 year old loved helping me carry all the hanging shirts from my closet, and pulling out all the folded ones from the drawers. And once we had our big, gigantic pile (of just shirts), she also loved diving on top (and snapping some hangers in the process. No big deal! I won’t need as many when I’m done!).

Toddler in tutu, tidying.

Now that my first pile was ready, we got the kids to bed on time (miracle!) so I could have a real chance of making some progress before my bedtime. I started with shirts that were clear yes’s, my favorites. I held them, recognized how I feel about them, and moved on. Tackled some easy sections of shirts that I really had no idea why I still had them, thanked them, and placed them in a discard pile. Once you get going, you can really get on a roll. If there was ever a maybe I just set it aside to come back to, so I didn’t lose my momentum.

It took me a couple nights to make it through all the tops. Then I pulled out all the bottoms and started the process again. Then dresses, jackets, pajamas, etc. (and I’ll share the experience of sorting through maternity and nursing clothes in another post). Overall, it took me about 2 weeks to get through everything and I ended up discarding about 16 trash bags worth of clothes (145 tops! 46 pairs of pants!)

Packed SUV, ready for donation drop-off.

I found a charity that supported young moms, that would accept all of my donations. I asked my mom to come with me to drop it off – both for her SUV that could handle all the bags, and for the emotional support of letting it all go.

It was a little overwhelming, I had never let go of so many things at once. Things that held a lot of memories. We live our lives in our clothes and some of those had been in my closet since high school. But it was time, and as we drove back home, I wondered if I’d feel regret. I didn’t (well, a little bit when Covid hit and I saw a video about making face masks with old leggings. Just got rid of those! But, really, I didn’t.).

Now, my clothes are organized. I like and wear everything that I have. Half my drawers are empty, and there’s space between my hangers. The work is worth it.

Some Tidying with Toddlers Tips:
  • Get your kids involved from the start. It’s important to let them see what’s going on and understand when and why it’s time to say goodbye to some of our things
  • They like to help! Figure out what they can do (like carry some clothes), and make it more fun for everyone.
  • Depending on the items, it might still be better to make your decisions without the distraction. Let them help you get everything in one place, but wait to decide what brings you joy when you have a moment to yourself.
  • If you’re donating your items, talk about it with your kids! It’s a good opportunity to talk about how we can help others, and how passing along the things we don’t use could really benefit someone else’s lives.

Happy tidying, friends!

A date with paper

Starting category 3

The date is set, we’re starting paper tonight. There’s only 5 categories, so starting a new one feels like a big deal. And each time I get nervous and excited. Will I be able to let enough go, or is this going to feel like wasted time? Will I get rid of stuff that I may end up needing? It’s extra challenging to avoid regret at discarding things when you find yourself and the whole world in survival/hoarder mode.

A file for things to file.

Also, when it comes to papers (and most other things) I have a knack for making it more complicated than it need to be. I have a file for things to file, and a file for everything else for that matter. The Marie Kondo suggestion for paper is to get rid of almost everything and only have 3 categories for what’s left – to be dealt with, to be saved for a short amount of time, and to be saved ‘forever’. My home has a lot of potential for simplification here.

Keeping toddlers hands out

Part of what’s tricky with tidying with toddlers is that we can’t leave anything out in the open. We have 3 little people ready to dig through and destroy anything and everything they find. We either have to put it all in a space that we can safely block off, or know that we have to set aside time at the end of each tidying time to put away our unfinished project, just to get it back out next time.

Non-tidying toddlers, ready to find and destroy

Yes, it can be frustrating. It takes even more time to get through our things because we have to do it all in such small chunks. We already have such limited time without the kids awake to accomplish our decluttering and reorganizing. Keeping them out of a blocked-off space is not simple or pleasant (they loudly voice their dissent when they can’t explore everything behind every gate and door). But the alternative was to not start at all, and I was tired of waiting and living in my storage unit of a house.

How to start again

Once I complete a category, I’m extra tired. I got excited and stayed up late a few nights in a row to finish it. So I take a break for a week (or two), go to bed on time, read a book, or watch some Netflix. Then I need to find the momentum to start back up again.

My momentum comes in the form of the feeling I get when I see or use the spaces that have already been improved through tidying. My drawers of neat, happy, folded clothes. My bookshelves that seem to be able to breathe again for the 1st time in forever (did anyone else just sing some Frozen in their head?).

So I may be a little nervous for our evening of diving into our sea of paper. But I’m also very excited to see the results of our hard work.

Happy drawer
Tips for starting a new tidying category
  • Re-read the section from ‘The Life Changing Magic of Tidying up’ and/or ‘Spark Joy’ about the category you are ready to start. It gets me in the right mindset and usually reminds me of a good tip that I’ve already forgotten.
  • Consider whether the category is the right size for the time you have. Can you break it into a smaller sub category? Set a realistic goal for today, and know you can continue tomorrow.
  • Jump right in with the basics. Start with something that you clearly love or you clearly no longer need, and then let the momentum pick up.

Happy tidying, friends.

A night of a thousand plastic spoons

I finally read Marie Kondo’s book in January 2020 and decided that this was the year that I would declutter our things. I don’t commit unless I can follow through, and I knew this was a BIG project, so I was taking it head on.

Which meant no more excuses

Three small children and a full-time job? We’ll do it in small chunks!

House still being renovated from a water leak and mold infestation from months ago? We’ll start upstairs!

Husband who has very strong convictions about never wasting, always recycling, and finding the most thoughtful, sustainable way to dispose of anything? Well, we’ll figure it out together!

I started, just like you’re supposed to. Category one is clothes. I got through those (read more here), donated them, breathed a sigh of relief, and carried on.

Baby clothes! Whole other emotional rollercoaster.

Category 2, books, done! (future blog post coming)

But before we dove into papers, we needed room in our garage to store all of our discard items during the shelter-in-home, world-shut-down phase of 2020. We needed to unpack the remaining boxes from our January floors-getting-replaced partial-move-out.

And that’s how I found myself surrounded by 1,000 + plastic spoons at 10:30 at night, frustrated, tired, and wondering what to do next.

Go to bed. The answer was go to bed.

Feeling discouraged, I asked my husband while we were about to go to sleep, “Why do you think I’m doing this?”

He replied, “To make our lives difficult.”

And while I know he was just grouchy from being kept up past his bedtime on a Sunday night, sorting through plastic spoons and forks, I realized that it was a time to back up a bit and write out why I believe this is worth our limited free time.

I believe …

  • that if we stop treating our home like a storage unit, we will enjoy our time here more.
  • that if we can spend less time cleaning, organizing, and fighting the clutter, we can spend more time playing, relaxing, and enjoying family time.
  • that if we surround ourselves with only things that make us happy, we will be happier.
  • that we will realize that less is more, and we will be able to breathe and relax in a home that has just enough, not too much.
  • that after we deal with our things instead of hide them away, we will be less distracted by what we have to do and more focused on what we want to do.
  • that we will learn to be more grateful and thankful for the things we do choose to keep, and that will impact how we treat other people and things in this world.

There is so much to gain, but it takes a lot of time and work to get through all the clutter that we’ve accumulated over the last few decades. How did we end up with so many plastic spoons? It doesn’t really matter. We have them now, and we have to decide what to do with them. Probably let most of them go.

And we’ll remember this and be more considerate the next time we think about buying disposable utensils. I’m pretty sure we’re never going to end up with 1,000 plastic white spoons again.

The night of a thousand plastic spoons…

Helpful tips for tidying

A few things I was reminded of after tonight:

  • If a pile of stuff or category is feeling overwhelming, break in into smaller parts.
  • If you can’t remember why you’re doing this, or wondering if it’s worth it, write down or re-read your tidying goals.
  • It’s okay to take a break. Tidying is harder when you’re tired.
  • Go back to the basics. Hold it, and think about whether it brings you joy. Does it make you happy? Keep it with pride. Don’t think you will use it? Then thank it, and let it go.

Happy tidying, friends.